Where am I?

It's hard to define where I am, because that question can have so many answers.  It can apply to where I am living, where I am studying, where I am in my life...So many answers can make sense when you ask yourself, "Where am I?"  I also think that where you are from affects where you are.  There's a quote I love that says, "Remember where you've come from, where you are, and where you are going."  I think that this quote is so true.  If you forget where you are from, you can lose your sense of who you are.  If you forget where you are, you can lose your drive and become complacent.  And if you don't think about where you are going, it's hard to go anywhere.

Your past is a big past of who you are, and also where you are.  It doesn't completely define you, but your past is a big part of who you are.  Think about someone who is adopted.  They usually want to know about their biological parents and where they came from.  I think this is just a natural reaction to being to that you are adopted.  After being told that after years of thinking that you were one thing, you must rethink who you are and rediscover yourself all over again.  I think this is one of the saddest things.  I base a lot of who I am on my past and my heritage.  It helps me to know where I am.  I am living in the middle of nowhere.  And I can't imagine living anywhere else.  Because it's where my father's family has always lived.  The land we are living on, has had a Blase living on it for all but 30 years since it was purchased from the railroad in the late 1880's.  We were there before there was a town there.  This helps me know that when I decide to go home, my past will be waiting there for me.

Where you are currently is also a huge part of defining yourself.  I am in so many places right now.  I live in the country, but we are within the limits of Hordville.

 I go to school in Aurora and my mom's parents live here.  My heart is drawn towards Colorado and the mountains.  My mind is drawn to the past and to history. See what I mean about it being hard to define where you are?  You can be in so many places.  Where I am right now is also so important.  Right now I'm in high school.

And I, along with most of the senior class, am waiting on May.  But not very patiently.  So at the same time that I am thinking in the present, I am also thinking about the future.   The future is fraught with unknowns and unanswered questions.  These questions branch out like the limbs of a tree.

And these questions will help us define where we are and where we want to be.  Right now, where I am is a hard question to answer.  Because in all honesty my mind is a thousand places.  My mind is on homework and scholarships.  I am in Colorado in my heart, and also in Ohio at the same time, but in reality I'm sitting in the middle of nowhere and the center of everywhere.

Nebraska is one of the most central states, we are landlocked.  No way around it.  This being in the middle of nowhere has really helped me to learn where I am.  It has taught me how to entertain myself.  And books have been my biggest joy living in the middle of nowhere.  I think that is why I want to be a teacher so much.  

I am always astounded at the diversity of careers we have to choose from.  I could be a doctor, if I could stand to think of people in pain, which I can't.  I could be a lawyer.  I could be a teacher, which I want to be.  I mean the options are endless.  I think that where I am now, can also help me to define who I want to be in the future.  The stack of books represents what I want to do in my future.  I want to be a teacher, specifically teaching history and geography. Right now, I have accepted that not everyone likes history.  And I am fine with that. Not everyone finds joy in the same things. No one can know the future. And  just when you think that you know what will happen life throws a wrench in the plan and completely changes what's happening.

Right now, I'm sitting in the middle of an important intersection.  An intersection between being an irresponsible teenager and a responsible college student.  It's in times like these that I look back at where I'm from.

I'm from a tiny, sleepy little village of Hordville, Nebraska.  Population 142. It sits on Highway 66 and is about three miles from Polk.  It's so tiny that you can blink and miss the town. And I'm from Nebraska.  The very middle state.  A state that can't seem to remember where it is at.  And I'm from the country.  Where I was raised to have a wild side that has a touch of rebellion.  I am at a point in my life where all of my past is affecting my decisions for my future.  My gravel road roots are playing heavily on my decision as to what to do with my life.  I am in a land of the free because of the brave. 

There are some who go their entire lives without knowing who they are or where they are in life. Me, I'm glad I'm where I am.